Mark 4:35, “Wake up Jesus, don’t you know we’re drowning here!”
The waves were breaking over the stern of the boat, I had never seen a storm so angry nor a sea so bent on destroying my life. I was lost to everything but the moment, survival was all that was on my mind and each breaking wave seemed to bring me closer to spiritual, mental and physical meltdown. Where was Jesus? I thought he was here beside me. There were times I leaned on the oars and looked into the bleak gray cloudy rain driven sky and cried out, “Hey Jesus, remember me, I thought you liked me, where are you?”
That was how I felt this past year. Even though I had many powerful dreams and prophetic words spoken over my life I felt like the enemy was winning. I felt like a failure and that I had somehow missed what God had promised through his prophets. Have you ever felt that way yourself? That somehow you missed the very purpose and destiny that God had spoken to you during this present move of God.
Especially during these past 6 months I cried and repented and exhausted myself in self examination. I stopped my car more than once and leaned forward peering up into the sky and said, “Hey Jesus, do you even like me any more?” Yes I said that and sadly more than once. But it seemed Jesus, like in the story in Mark woke from his rest and came forward and rebuked the wind and waves in my life. The forces that were overtaking me slacked off and I was once again able to understand a very important principle.
I like many others throughout history had gotten so captivated in the process of getting to my destination that I came to believe that the vehicle I was in that was transporting me, in my mind, had become the destination. And it was not! It was only the vehicle not the prophetic word, the dream or the promised call on my life. No matter how glamorous it was or not so glamorous at times, it was the vehicle not the promise.
Once the realization came over me I began to see the shoreline of my promise and I started remembering the dreams and words once again. As I did the shore began to take shape and the purposes of God began to emerge. Is that where a lot of us have been these past few years? I felt like the Israelite people in the desert walking from one sand dune to the other forgetting the promises of God, only seeing the next sand hill in front of me. The enemy throwing everything at me, discouragement over missed opportunities and what seemed like all out spiritual failures. I got so caught up in the journey that I felt it somehow had become the promise and it was just the vehicle that was taking me to the next thing. There were times when the excitement of the journey, the un-expectant manna, the water out of the rock and the supernatural physical presence of God led me to believe that this was the fulfillment as well, but it was not the promises of God spoken over my life. Whichever extreme was before me, whether good or not so good I had forgotten what had been promised me.
If you were like me I want you to know that where you are is probably not your destination it is only the vehicle that is getting you to the other side where your fulfillment lies. What is exciting is that we will live like this over and over again. That is right, you probably will only get to spend a season in that land of destiny and promise. Then the words will start to come and the dreams are released and once again you find yourself on the boat crossing over. Hopefully we will learn to be more like Jesus and just fall asleep till we arrive on the shore of our destination not to be awakened by the waves of adversity and the winds of doubt.
I am a nameless and faceless person touched by God and journeying toward a promise. On the way I see the fulfillment of prophetic dreams and words spoken over my life. Many are not recognizable until they are fulfilled and then it makes perfect sense. I got caught up in a journey that I had come to believe was a dream come true and Jesus showed me it was the boat that was taken me to the shore of my destiny. I thank God for the boat ride, it was truly a refining ‘character building’ wild ride.
In the old west there was a saying, “He is one to ride the river with.” It means that they have the grit or staying power to be there when the going gets tough. It is easy to stay on the mountaintop in the midst of the fulfillment of revelation but there is not much time for character building. Mostly character building comes on the ride over. I forgot that, next time I hope to lay down on the cushion beside Jesus and spend more time curled next to him enjoying his presence and less time manning the oars. Remember when people would say, “When are they going to get up off of the floor and start doing something?” Well, not until it is time, my friends, not until it is time.
Kingdom Life Ministry 